Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Four Old Ladies in an Impala

The funniest voicemail you will hear today!


Hey Mark, excuse me I’m on my way to 3768 kind of got hung up, it’s raining out here, I’m on my way into Dallas. Jerry is probably going to be calling you to find out where I’m at if he can’t get a hold of me I’m sure. Whoa! Whoa! Man I just had a wreck right in front of me. This guy ran a red light and hit 4 old ladies in an Impala. Just kind of clipped them and turned them around right in front of me. That was close. Oh now this guy is getting out of his car, he’s got a white shirt on with a giant cigarette hanging out of his mouth, he’s throwing his hands in the air as if it was their fault. Hold on, he’s going over to their window. She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella. Now the other ones are getting out too. There’s one old woman with a little black purse tomahawking him. She looks like a…jackhammer. We got another woman that’s hitting him like she’s got a cattle prod. She’s got an umbrella she’s sticking it in his side. There’s another one that’s a little woman that looks like mother goose. She’s beating him! She’s beating him! She’s got a huge bag! She’s beating him. She’s got this big bag! It’s huge it’s about the size of her, she’s about 4 foot nothing. She hit him over the head and everything went all over the place. Her bible fell…oh she’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy. This guy is not getting up. They’re still hitting him. The one with the little black purse is…okay he’s up…the little old lady beamed him again with that big bag. He’s running to his car, he’s out of here. She’s talking to him while he’s driving off. I wish you would have been here man, this was just too good. I got to go!

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